My Life - Poem .... Love Life, Love Yourself ...

 

No one can live my life for me,

Nor can I live someone else's life ....

Love Life, Love Yourself ....

- Vanita Thakkar

My Life

The limited measures

Of my perception

Try to fathom,

To quantify and define

My possibilities,

My limitlessness.

How much?

How good?

How bad? ....

Where do I stand? ….

The urge for Uniqueness

And craving for Oneness –

Are they antonymous

Or naturally co-existent? ….

Are they there?

Uncommon or common,

Liked or disliked,

Nobody can live

My life for me.

Vanita Thakkar (written in 2008-09)

© 2020 Vanita Thakkar

Expectations - Poem .... With Reflections on - Is It Possible to Be Devoid of Expectations ?! How to Balance Them ?!

 

.... Everything does not happen just as we expect .... Is it possible to be devoid of expectations ??!!

Expectations

Time goes on and on.

The future, absolutely unknown.

And ambitious as he is,

Man always expects bliss.

Joy, to the present they nurture,

These lovely dreams of future.

But, alas ! It is a fact that

Everything does not happen just as we expect.

- Vanita Thakkar (29.06.1987)

29th June, 1987 was the day on which my Secondary School Board Examination (commonly known as Class X Board Examination) results were declared. I had topped in my school - among all those who had appeared for Board Examinations : Secondary as well as Higher Secondary, but, had scored lesser than expected. My scoring percentage had never gone below 80% throughout my schooling and I saw myself scoring an unexpectedly low 76% and was dejected. We (my teachers, family, friends, relatives, well-wishers .... and I) had expected much higher marks and percentage.

I was a student of Gujarat Secondary Education Board (GSEB) and for Standard / Grade X, the Examinations are conducted centrally by the respective state education boards, as per the prevailing education system in India. I had been a student of Central Board (managed by the Central Government Education Department) till the previous year, that is, till my 9th standard / grade. In the Central Board schools, there is an internal board examination in the 9th standard, which means the question papers for the examinations are from the Central Board - sent to schools all over India, but the assessment takes place locally. After completing my 9th standard, my parents decided to shift me to a state board school as that would ensure easier and better scopes for university admissions in Gujarat. There are limited seats for Central Board students in the state run universities and higher studies in Vadodara was a top preference for both, my brother and me.

Education - with respect to contents, style as well as atmosphere - in state board schools was very different. Taking extra coaching in the form of tuitions outside the school was so common that I was the only student in my class - both sections - who had not opted for any external coaching. There were optional subjects to be selected - I opted for Hindi instead of my mother-tongue Gujarati since I had never had any formal education in Gujarati. There was a choice of two out of three between Sanskrit, Special Geography and Typewriting and I wanted to take Sanskrit and Special Geography, but both classes were going on simultaneously. So, I took Sanskrit and Typewriting. For typewriting, we had to go to a separate affiliated institute for a session of one hour after our school hours, every working day. I had scored well and highest in both of those subjects. The problem was in Science, Mathematics and English. I was complimented (and unknowingly consoled) that scoring this good percentage in English medium was commendable. In Gujarat State Board, English medium results were always lower and poorer than Gujarati medium results. The common reason that I got to hear from most people was that the English medium paper assessment was too difficult for the available qualified staff. Some people even told me that my cursive (and pretty good) handwriting (that was much loved and appreciated by all, especially my teachers - so far) must have been too difficult to read (that is something very disappointing) !!

This poem and my parents were the only ones who knew how disappointed I had felt at my result. No, no, there was one more person (Ha, Ha ....) : My father had accompanied me to my school for collecting my result. I tried and managed to remain cool while accepting all the compliments and Pappa was cheering me up on our way back as we boarded an auto rickshaw. He was happy and wanted to celebrate. He asked the auto rickshaw driver to stop near a sweet shop and got down to get the sweets. I realized how sullen my face had turned, when a genuinely concerned auto rickshaw driver asked me, "Beta (an affectionate way of addressing a kid or younger one), have you failed ?" Oh God !! .... "No", I replied, "I have passed ...." as I saw my smiling father return back with a packet of sweets and board the auto rickshaw ....

I had written this poem in the quietness of the evening that day, sitting all by myself in our little backyard and decided that I will score higher - at least, not let my results go further down - in the two years of schooling left before me. I could manage that and I topped in the next two years as well, even though in my Higher Secondary Examination also, I scored much lesser than expected in one of the main subjects - Chemistry and could not cross the 80% mark.

My certificates for the SSCE ...

 

Further Reflections on Expectations ....

Expectations are often mentioned at several places - in philosophy, in religion, in relations ....

My experience in the above mentioned incident was with reference to expectations of results of my efforts in studies. Till the above incident took place, my results used to be better than what I would expect. I would estimate how much I was likely to score, and I would never get lesser than what I would expect. Also, here, even though the results were not up to the expectations, and perhaps up to the caliber, they were not altogether bad. My friends would not understand my dismay, which would surface out spontaneously, as they had a very different background. And I was scoring more than them !! So, some even looked upon it as my "hypocrisy" !!

The study material that we got in State Board schools was also not as good as I was used to. Text books were most disappointing .... Making notes, going to the library, reading reference books .... was something that did not appeal to most of my new class mates. In Secondary School, I was the only student who went to the library regularly - much to the joy of my teachers and librarian. In Higher Secondary, our English Medium library was never found open !! And perhaps I was the one who was most disappointed about it .... But, this was not all. Studies went on in their own course. I was in Science stream and there were hardly ten or eleven girls in our class. Our group of seven girls was most amazing. We had had some most memorable wonderful times together and the seven of us are still in touch ....

People try to philosophize expectations by saying - "All troubles are due to expectations .... There should be no expectations ...."

How true is it ? Is it not OK to expect a human being to behave like a human being - as the most beautiful of creations ? And is it really possible to stop expecting ? Is life so isolated ? Are our ethical rulings, religious preaching and legal systems not based on expectations - to maintain order and peace in human society ?

Expecting someone to stop expecting is in itself an expectation !! (Ha, Ha ....)

Perhaps we forget a very important fact of Life - there is no independence in physical, emotional and social ecosystems. There is interdependence, which has to be respectfully and lovingly enjoyed. And that leads to "independence" - a word that belongs to the world of spiritualism.

The problem, perhaps, is not related to expectations being there or not, as expectations cannot be ruled out. They cannot be non-existent. However, a balance of expectations has to be established and maintained in our relationships and dealings everywhere - in personal, professional and social lives as well as in our relationships and dealings with our surroundings, our environment, our ecosystem and our beautiful universe, as a whole. This is a collective responsibility, wherein everyone, every individual plays his / her significant role.

Some interesting and thought-provoking quotes on - Expectations ....

 

From HubPages .... Published on 01st December, 2020.

© 2020 Vanita Thakkar

 

Om Tat Sat Shree Narayan Tu .... - A Beautiful All-Faith Prayer Explained and Elaborated in English

Om Tat Sat Shree Narayan Tu ... is a beautiful all-faith prayer, which was a part of Mahatma Gandhi's prayer sessions. It is sung regularly in many schools/institutions all over India, spreading message and vibrations of harmony and peace. Here, the essence of its verses is elaborated in English.

Om Tat Sat Shree Narayan Tu .... - A Beautiful All-Faith Prayer

Om Tat Sat Shree Narayan Tu, Purushottam Guru Tu,

Siddha Buddha Tu, Skanda Vinayak Savita Paavak Tu,

Brahama Mazda Tu, Yahva Shakti Tu, Ishu Pitaa Prabhu Tu,

Rudra Vishnu Tu, Raama Krishna Tu, Rahim Tao Tu,

Vasudev Go Vishwa Roopa Tu, Chidananda Hari Tu,

Advitiya Tu, Akaala Nirbhay, Aatmalinga Shiva Tu !!

Om Tat Sat Shree Narayan Tu, Purushottam Guru Tu,

Om Tat Sat Shree Narayan Tu !!

Translation : The word Tu translates to Thou art.

The rest are different names of the Almighty - the Universe - the Omnipresent - the Absolute Truth, whatever we choose to call ....

Hence, the literal translation would be ....

Thou art THAT, Thou art TRUTH, Thou art Shree Narayan, Thou art Purushottam Guru,

Thou art Siddha Buddha, (Thou art) Skanda Vinayaka, Thou art Savita Paavak,

Thou art Brahma Mazda, Thou art Yahva Shakti, Thou art Ishu Pitaa Prabhu,

Thou art Rudra Vishnu, Thou art Raama Krishna, Thou art Rahim Tao,

Thou art Vasudev Go Vishwaroopa, Thou art Chidanada Hari,

Thou art Advitiya Akaal Nirbhay, Thou art Aatmalinga Shiva !!

Thou art THAT, Thou art TRUTH, Thou art Shree Narayan, Thou art Purushottam Guru,

Thou art THAT, Thou art TRUTH, Thou art Shree Narayan !!

Elaborations of the meanings are given below :

Elaborating the Essence of the Prayer ....

Hindi	English	Word Meanings / Explanations / References
Om Tat Sat Shree Narayan Tu	Thou art THAT, Thou art TRUTH, Thou art Shree Narayan	Shree : represents Goddess Lakshmi, the Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity, prefixed as a symbol of honour before the names of respectable / revered men; Narayan : The Omnipresent God
Purushottam Guru Tu	Thou art Purushottam Guru	Purushottam : The best among men
Siddha Buddha Tu	Thou art Siddha Buddha	Siddha : An accomplished / enlightened seeker - in Hindu and Jain philosophies
Skanda Vinayak	(Thou art) Skanda Vinayaka	Skanda : literally means, the Leaper / the Attacker - Lord Kartikeya - the Warrior God, the first son of Lord Shiva and Maa Parvati, the destroyer of evil; Vinayak : literally means one who bestows Vinaya, i.e. courtesy / discretion / wisdom, refers to Lord Ganesha - the second son of Lord Shiva and Maa Parvati, the Hindu Deity of Wisdom, Pure Intelligence and Collectivity, the Remover of obstacles
Savita Paavak Tu	Thou art Savita Paavak	Savita : literally means, the best in the universe, refers to the energy of the Sun; Paavak : that which nurtures and nourishes
Brahma Mazda Tu	Thou art Brahma Mazda	Brahma : as per the Hindu philosophy, highest Universal Principle of Existence - the Ultimate Truth; Mazda : comes from Ahura Mazda - the name of the Zoroastrian God and stands for the God of Harmony, Intelligence and Wisdom
Yahva Shakti Tu	Thou art Yahva Shakti	Yahva : youngest, newest, always young or fresh; Shakti : Energy
Ishu Pitaa Prabhu Tu	Thou art Ishu Pitaa Prabhu	Isha : One who Protects - in the Hindu philosophy; Ishu - comes from Yeshu meaning Jesus Christ; Pitaa : Father; Prabhu : Lord / God
Rudra Vishnu Tu	Thou art Rudra Vishnu	Rudra : literally means "the roarer" or the "howler", a name of Lord Shiva in the Hindu philosophy, meaning the mighty God of storm, lightning and thunder, the Purifier; Vishnu : the Omnipresent - the all-pervasive, the Protector and the Preserver of Universe, the Hindu Deity of Sustainability of Universe
Raama Krishna Tu	Thou art Raama Krishna	Raama and Krishna are incarnations of Lord Vishnu - the Hindu Deity of Protection and Sustainability
Rahim Tao Tu	Thou art Rahim Tao	Rahim : one of the names of Allah in Islam, meaning "Merciful"; Tao : literally means "way", in Chinese philosophy, refers to the Absolute Principle underlying the Universe, combining within itself the principles of Yin (the Feminine power) and Yang (the Masculine power) and signifying the way, or code of behaviour, that is in harmony with the natural order.
Vasude Go Vishwaroopa Tu	Thou art Vasudev Go Vishwaroopa	Vasudev : Shree Krishna - the Universal Divinity; Go Vishwaroopa : the Almighty God - Lord Krishna - who has the universe as His body.
Chidananda Hari Tu	Thou art Chidanada Hari	Chidananda : one with a conscious mind immersed in total bliss; Hari : the Savior, a name of Lord Vishnu, the one who removes darkness and illusion.
Advitiya Tu Akaal Nirbhay	Thou art Advitiya Akaal Nirbhay	Advitiya : one without a second, unparalleled, only One; Akaal : beyond Time; Nirbhay : Fearless
Aatmalinga Shiva Tu	Thou art Aatmalinga Shiva	Aatmalinga : pure soul manifesting the formless as a form; Shiva : literally means "the Auspicious one", referring to Lord Shiva

Several recorded versions of this prayer are available online.

A couple of links are given below.

I had learnt this prayer during my childhood, regularly sung in the beginning of my dance class sessions. It has remained in my heart ever since. I can still see Ms. Hazarika, our beautiful, elegant dance teacher standing with her hands folded with us, singing this prayer, in the beginning of our sessions.

Was / is this or any other All-Faith Prayer regularly sung in your School / Institute / Organization ?

• 85% Yes
• 0% No
• 15% I would love to have it

20 people have voted in this poll.

© 2020 Vanita Thakkar

Perfection - a Poem .... What Is It ? an Aspiration, a Quest, an Expectation … a Tool, a Weapon ... Let Us Explore ....

 

Perfection

Perfection – unattainable :

A guiding star

To students, artists,

Continuously inspiring

Them for improvement;

A source of humility

For the Enlightened,

Saving them from

The vices of blindening ego.

Perfection – unattainable :

A tool and a weapon.

Perfection – unattainable :

But, measurable ?!

By man –

Whose perfection lies

In being imperfect ?!

Perfection – the Creator’s Nature :

Dissolve in its infinity

Through surrender.

- Vanita Thakkar (12.09.2008)

Perfection : an aspiration, a quest, an expectation ....

Perfection : tool - to chip and chop, crave and carve ....

Perfection : a weapon - to shake and break - individualities and identities .... ??!!

- Vanita Thakkar

 

© 2008 Vanita Thakkar

 

Camouflaged Trust - Poem

 

Trust overladen with hidden, blind expectations creates unwanted and undue stresses and strains. Such experiences expose parasitic tendencies in relationships, in which the contributor gets exposed to the risk of being consumed by the receiver and has to be careful. A pure, determined mind can help with the confidence required to overcome and overpower such difficulties.

- Vanita Thakkar (22-02-2021)

 

Camouflaged Trust

What is it

That comes along

Camouflaged as trust

And claimed broken ?

Appreciation,

Which keeps turning upside down ?

Or peeping curiosity

Soaked in sore patience,

Seeking answers

That lie within ?

Or cleverness

Often mirror-imposed in fox

For its scavengerly habits ?

Or all these together

And much more

Unknown to my ignorant awareness,

Turning me into a protagonist

In a farce of converting

Disguised, disastrous expectations

Into challenges,

Too overbearing for my frail being,

But for the unfailing grace of

That Omnipresent Nobody.

- Vanita Thakkar (03.04.2011)