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Showing posts with label Self-respect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-respect. Show all posts

Sunday, 6 September 2026

The Award : A Short Story

Vipraa came to know that Dr. Yashwant Patel – the well-known, veteran Gujarati writer-thinker-philosopher had received one of the highest Civilian Awards of the country. Wow !! Great !! Vipraa was acquainted to Dr. Patel. She had attended one of his lectures, more than three decades back and later got the opportunity to meet him. He was a renowned orator as well and Vipraa – a second year college student then, was impressed by his ability to hold the attention of his audience. How she had wished her professors would have at least a few percentage of that ability !! ….

The trail of other memories followed and she recalled her interactions with the renowned, as also controversial personality …. Yashwantbhai (that is what Dr. Yashwant Patel was addressed as) spoke with jesting nonchalance, with traces of pride in it – on all the opposition he was facing – all the letters that he was receiving against his writings ….

A Queer Comment ....

“Chhaayaa looks like a shelly cow ….” Yashwantbhai had commented about a common acquaintance, hearing which Vipraa was taken a back. The phrase “shelly cow” (called “vasuki gayeli gaay” in Gujarati) was new to Vipraa, but she could grasp the feel of what it meant. Later, she found out that it apparently means an old cow, usually in poor condition and found “useless” as she cannot be milked …. What Yashwantbhai said about Chhaayaa did not sound good at all. Not that Vipraa and Chhaayaa were great friends. Perhaps Yashwantbhai could know that they are too different to be friends. However, for some time, Vipraa and Chhaayaa were friends – if not good friends. At least that is what Vipraa thought. Chhaayaa was a professional and Vipraa was a college student then – more than three decades ago. They knew each other and had worked together for a couple of months, in a Youth Organization, to which Yashwantbhai was the mentor. Yashwantbhai, in his fifties then, enjoyed good influence on the founder of the Youth Organization, Rajiv, though behind his back, Rajiv openly and clearly expressed his reservations on Yashwantbhai’s “limitations” that Vipraa found difficult to understand. Rajiv was under some stress, perhaps, to maintain his hold on his group members. There were questions being raised on the vision and objectives as well as on the ways of functioning of the organization. Vipraa, a teenager at that time, could sense that there was something wrong somewhere and tried to see if there could be a change for good …. It couldn’t work. Perhaps she was too small, too simple, too naive …. Whatever !! Vipraa was sure of what she thought was right and good for herself. She distanced herself from the organization and its hassles, wishing and praying for the good of All …. Chhaayaa was close to Rajiv and perhaps had gone closer than what could be expected of a decent relationship …. Vipraa wondered as to how that was possible ??!! And if they are so close, why do they not get married ??!! ….

I am an anti-marriage person ….

And Yashwantbhai – he is known for his views against marriage. He himself told Vipraa that he is against marriage – “I am an anti-marriage person ….” Much later, Vipraa came to know that he had even initiated a campaign against marriage … !! ?? What for ? He himself is happily married !! His kids also got married later !! And as far as can be known – they are quite happy !! Still he spoke with such confidence and pride that he is anti-marriage – against marriage !! Why ??!! This is where Vipraa could not agree with Yashwantbhai. She never spoke to him about it directly. She treated Yashwantbhai with great respect – as a good writer and orator and an elderly renowned personality ….

How and why does such a great thinker and writer take pride in speaking against, even running a campaign against marriage – a relationship that is the basis of a healthy family life in a healthy, strong society …. !!??

Did he not give a thought to the option of understanding and talking about the essence of, the importance of, the dignity of that relationship …. Does he not owe anything of his achievements to his parents and their relationship; to his family life, to his marriage and to his wife …. ??!! ….

Before turning against any tradition, especially publicly, is it not wise to understand what it stands for, what are the misconceptions prevailing about it and how they can be overcome, to ensure that the essential auspicious thought and conviction behind its evolution are upheld …. ??!!

In a lighter vein, Vipraa observed that the fashion of running away from marriage and blaming marriage has never got old among men for ages !!

Feminism .... ??!!

Some other aspects of Yashwantbhai’s views also puzzled Vipraa. While speaking to Vipraa during their telephonic conversations on the Raamaayana and his own writings on the great scripture, Yashwantbhai more than once emphasized on focusing on the characters of Taadakaa and Shoorpanakhaa – the two Rakshashis or demonesses – saying they turned bad due to the atrocities they faced and due to curses of sages …. Vipraa felt puzzled when she heard that for the first time and more so on its repetition for the second time …. Then, the next time, she gave her reply to the advice – “It is better to focus on Shabari.” (In Raamaayana, Shabari is a tribal lady, an ardent devotee of Lord Raama and a disciple of the great Sage Matanga, who tells Lord Raama about Hanumanji and where he can be located).

Yashwantbhai had written in one of his articles that Shoorpanakhaa had done nothing wrong by flirting with Raama and Laxamana and that she should not have been punished for doing so …. was she punished for “flirting” with Raama and Lakshamana or for trying to harm Sitaa ? Vipraa had asked about this, but she did not get any reply ….

Well, is such a stance – of favouring vamp-like characters – called feminism ? Or is that being kind to ladies ? What type of feminism is it – women have the right to be wrong and bad ??!! ….


Vipraa found Yashwantbhai cautioning her against various evils prevailing in the society, especially against women, many of which were undoubtedly genuine – but he never talked of solutions, or efforts / attempts being made towards seeking the right solutions or attempts being made towards overcoming them. He sounded neither optimistic nor solution-oriented, in spite of his known associations with social works and social reforms. Was he so much taken to the awe of magnitude and complexities of the problems that he had lost sight and track of solutions …. ?

In a couple of bouts of credulity that Vipraa had witnessed during his lecture sessions, Yashwantbhai showed tendencies of trusting and committing on behalf of those who were not true enough to him – from what they spoke of him behind his back. And perhaps, as a lame excuse to the consequences of such blunders, he sometimes posed off that he enjoys being misunderstood …. Vipraa wondered if Yashwantbhai could see that his gracious servings of hot and sour spicy grey stuff to fans suffering from hyper acidity could be harmful to their health as well as his reputation.

In view of all this, Vipraa had her own doubts and concerns about how much and what type of justice Yashwantbhai was doing to all the appreciation, the respect and name he was commending in the society ….

Life takes its own course and amidst challenges of striking a balance between circumstances and priorities, acquaintance with Yashwantbhai turned into memories of appreciation and lessons from his lectures and writings and some interactions with him.

And of course, there can be no denying to the fact that Yashwantbhai speaks and writes well on a good range of topics – that include philosophy, religion, politics, nature and so on, with some traces of spiritualism …. and is much appreciated ….

A beautiful quote from Khalil Gibran brought Vipraa back to her present :

“I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.”

With prayers in her heart, Vipraa got back to her work.


- Vanita Thakkar (26th August, 2020)

© 2020 Vanita Thakkar

Sunday, 7 June 2026

My Life - Poem .... Love Life, Love Yourself ...

 


No one can live my life for me,

Nor can I live someone else's life ....

Love Life, Love Yourself ....

- Vanita Thakkar

 

My Life


The limited measures

Of my perception

Try to fathom,

To quantify and define

My possibilities,

My limitlessness.


How much?

How good?

How bad? ....


Where do I stand? ….


The urge for Uniqueness

And craving for Oneness –

Are they antonymous

Or naturally co-existent? ….

Are they there?


Uncommon or common,

Liked or disliked,

Nobody can live

My life for me.


Vanita Thakkar (written in 2008-09)




 

© 2020 Vanita Thakkar

Tuesday, 19 May 2026

Camouflaged Trust - Poem

 



Trust overladen with hidden, blind expectations creates unwanted and undue stresses and strains. Such experiences expose parasitic tendencies in relationships, in which the contributor gets exposed to the risk of being consumed by the receiver and has to be careful. A pure, determined mind can help with the confidence required to overcome and overpower such difficulties.

- Vanita Thakkar (22-02-2021)

 

Camouflaged Trust


What is it

That comes along

Camouflaged as trust

And claimed broken ?

Appreciation,

Which keeps turning upside down ?

Or peeping curiosity

Soaked in sore patience,

Seeking answers

That lie within ?

Or cleverness

Often mirror-imposed in fox

For its scavengerly habits ?

Or all these together

And much more

Unknown to my ignorant awareness,

Turning me into a protagonist

In a farce of converting

Disguised, disastrous expectations

Into challenges,

Too overbearing for my frail being,

But for the unfailing grace of

That Omnipresent Nobody.


- Vanita Thakkar (03.04.2011)

Thursday, 14 May 2026

Madness - A Poem

Ponderings on the Immortal Insanity of Love and Truth .... 

The eternal madness of Love and Truth is better than the escapist madness of hypocrisy .... 

Commitment and Determination as Madness - Fairness of Purpose .... 

The Example of Great Martyrs of Indian Freedom Struggle ....




The eternal madness of Love and Truth is better than the escapist madness of hypocrisy ....

Vanita Thakkar

Madness


The immortal insanity of

Love and Truth

Gets projected as Immaturity or Madness

By practical escapists,

Who fail to cast and mould It

To their desires or

To their misconception of

Benefit or Advantage or Goodness.

God bless their good health

And their sanity !

They are on a shoreless voyage,

Drifting away from themselves

Into madness called hypocrisy –

Ugly when open,

Misleading when concealed,

Dangerous always,

More so, when intoxicated by

Acquired authorities,

Typically known as Power.


- Vanita Thakkar (06-07th April, 2009)


Reflections ....

    • Madness literally would mean an unstable mental condition. However, due to the discrepancies that tend to creep into civilized social life on a mass scale, in the name of traditions or behaviours that go out of tune with the dynamics of changes / progress with time, circumstances and necessities of prevailing ecosystems, certain abnormalities assume the label of normality and vice versa.
    • A book of parables and poems by the great Khalil Gibran is titled - The Madman. It begins with this interesting parable, in which he describes how he became a madman .... He says he woke up one day, long before many gods were born, from a deep sleep and found that all his masks were stolen. The seven masks that he said he had fashioned and worn in seven lives were stolen. He says, he ran maskless through the crowded streets shouting, "Thieves, thieves, the cursed thieves !!" Men and women laughed at him and some ran into their houses out of fear of him. And when he reached the market place, a youth standing on a house-top cried, "He is a madman." He says, as he looked up to behold the youth, the sun kissed his own naked face for the first time and that his soul was inflamed with love for the sun and he no longer wanted any masks. He cried, as if in a trance, "Blessed, blessed are the thieves that stole my masks." And thus he became a madman. Then he writes, "And I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us. But let me not be too proud of my safety. Even a Thief in a jail is safe from another thief."

Commitment as Madness ....

Firm commitment is also looked upon as madness. But the fairness of purpose is important here.

Here, I am reminded of the great martyrs who laid down the lives for noble causes, such as the freedom struggle of India. Two days are celebrated as Shaheed Divas (Martyr's Day) in India to gratefully remember supreme scarifies of martyrs of Indian Freedom Struggle. 30th January is the martyrdom day of Mahatma Gandhi. The Mahatma was assassinated on 30th January, 1948 when he was returning from his evening prayers. 23rd March is the Martyrdom Day of three young Freedom Fighters of India - Shaheed Bhagat SinghShaheed Rajguru and Shaheed Sukhdev, who were hanged to death on 23rd March, 1931 for killing the English policeman who was behind the death of the great Indian Freedom Fighter Lala Lajpat Rai ....

One who truly loves his / her mother never even thinks of insulting anybody else's mother. So it is with one's love for one's motherland and one's religion. We need to recognize the ugly face of nasty power games - non-violence is not synonymous to cowardicenor is a thoughtless, greed-inspired act of brutality or crookedness anywhere close to being bravery or manliness.

There can be no justifications for wrong means adopted for fulfilling "right" goals. A thief has the good intentions of making himself and his family prosperous. That does not justify his wrong actions. Colonialism was inspired by "good intentions" of serving one's country at the cost of destroying the identity and fundamental human rights of another country / countries .... Means and ends cannot be separated. Wrong means adopted for "right intentions" is a lame, and on a large scale, a dangerous and cruel excuse.

There is hardly anything "fair" in and about wars and anything "unfair" cannot be love. We need to recognize and understand the absurdity and reckless incivility in the thought - "Everything is fair in love and war."

Shaheed Bhagat Singh - the martyr who laid down his life for the freedom of India ....
Shaheed Bhagat Singh - the martyr who laid down his life for the freedom of India ....

© 2021 Vanita Thakkar

Sunday, 26 April 2026

My Ego - A Poem with Reflections on Understanding Ego and Self-respect; Ego and Social Labels; Ego, Trust and Love ….

How much have you suffered because of your notions of my ego ? .... You find all reasons to cause troubles .... Still, do I not owe Thanks to you for being better than worse ??!!



My Ego


How much have you suffered

Because of your notions of my ego ?

You degraded and maligned yours !

You got justifications to trouble me.

You are successful indeed !

Your hostility does harm me,

But, it will bear bitter fruits for you.

I am glad to give you happiness

From my miseries.

Do I not owe Thanks to you

For being better than worse ?


- Vanita Thakkar (20.03.2009)

 

Reflections ....

It is important to understand the difference between ego and self-respect in life.

What is self-respect for one person may appear as ego to another person.

Struggles for self-respect raise questions on sensitive matters concerning individual and social well-being, including :

Whether between / among individuals or small groups or large groups / communities, such mind games, in the name of perceptions, often involve use of various labels that usually carry importance on matters of collective interests, such as loyalty towards (many times, so-called)

    • accepted practices (that may be urgently requiring changes for good),
    • social concerns,
    • religion,
    • gender,
    • region,
    • languages,
    • belief systems and so on ....

The use of "by hook or crook" ideology keeps delaying justice / possible reconciliations.

Sometimes I wonder, why do people say there are clashes in ideologies, when actually in most cases, there are clashes between self-respect and greed or between greed on both sides, that causes much harm to whatever is being fought for.

Self-respect and Greed

Sometimes I wonder, why do people say there are clashes in ideologies, when actually in most cases, there are clashes between self-respect and greed or between greed on both sides. Do you agree ?

    • 90% Yes
    • 0% No
    • 10% Not sure
10 people have voted in this poll.

The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.

Joan Didion

 

Ego, Trust and Love ....

The satisfaction of being trusted is a better compliment than the satisfaction of being loved. Do you agree ?

12 people have voted in this poll.

© 2021 Vanita Thakkar (Published on HubPages on 27th July, 2021)

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